i would wait for you
by codependency
Summary: "And I would wait for you," he whispers, "thing is, I don't know if you'd do the same." –- LucyLouis, in fifty different ways. i. whisper ii. sin iii. torn iv. breathless
1. whisper

authors note: for the OTP Boot Camp Challenge on hpfc, challenging you to write 50 fics about your OTP, which, for me, is LucyLouis. some of these will be oneshots, some of these will be drabbles. also, apologies for the bad cover image, it's only temporary.

the prompt for this one is _whisper. _i also combined it with some prompts from the rosescorpius fans forum (which y'all should totally join if you ship scorrose), which were from the 24th march: girl on fire, she builds up walls to protect herself, smoke & _"It's not my fault I can't be like you, okay? I don't get up in the morning thinking the world is one big, shiny, happy place, okay? That's just not how I work. I don't think I can be fixed."_

* * *

"And I would wait for you," he whispers, "thing is, I don't know if you'd do the same." –- LucyLouis, in fifty different ways.

_whisper_

He doesn't really know when it starts, if he's honest. Sure, he's a Ravenclaw, but the one thing he was never wise about was love. If he were wise with love, he would have ended up with Eliza Wood, maybe, or Susan Boot. Someone smart, someone kind, someone not so broken that they don't even know where they're going anymore.

But Louis is not wise, or at least not in love—he never was. And maybe, just maybe, that was a blessing in disguise.

(Louis isn't so sure.)

.

There's a whisper in the wind, calling him. _Louis_, it calls, _Louis, Louis, Louis_. He often wonders just what it means, but he's frightened to ask, because maybe it's only in his mind. There's nothing logical about the whisper in the wind, and maybe it is just his mind, but it seems that every time the wind passes by him, it calls his name, whispering frantically, as though it's a hushed warning that Louis can't quite understand.

It is on days like this that Louis wonders if there is a point. Is there a point to the endless whispering? Or a point to the leaves that swirl in the breeze and yet fall to the ground; having taken their fight but being returned to reality? Is there a reason that he is alive and others… others are not.

He's not sure. For a Ravenclaw, and for Louis, that is terrifying. To wonder if there is a point is perhaps the biggest debate of all. If there is no point to existence, then why is anyone alive at all?

Perhaps that is our fate. Perhaps it is our fate to wander the world with no real purpose, only trying to make it through with minimal bruising, and the least scars.

It seems a cruel way to have to live.

Louis concludes that it's probably true.

.

Her cold voice rings throughout the flat they share. "Louis, get out."

He can hear no emotion there, no clue that she cares about him. It's as though she's ordering coffee, or some such other menial task. It seems everyday, ordinary. Maybe it is. Louis has lost count of the times Lucy has banished him from the flat. Lucy has lost count of the times she's begged him to come back.

That is how they work. They love, they fight, they always fall apart and then try to put the broken things back together.

"Lucy, _please_," Louis begs, moving closer to Lucy, not wanting to have to spend another night trying to find somewhere to stay.

(This is how it always goes, next, she'll push him away.)

She pushes him away, aware of how close he is to her. "Louis, get the fuck out of my flat."

Louis winces when she calls it her flat. "Lucy, please, I'm sorry. It'll get better, _we _can get better."

(Perhaps next she'll insult him about what a dreamer he is, and he'll argue back and they'll argue and argue until he finally has enough.)

"The world isn't one big shiny, happy place, Louis." Lucy snarls.

Louis sighs, wishing he could help. "It could be, if you let it become that," he whispers.

Lucy snaps. "So, now it's my fault that the world is a shit hole where nobody gets what they want? Brilliant, thanks for that, Louis."

"You know that's not what I meant." Louis murmurs, and Lucy pretends that she doesn't, but she does know what he meant. It just hurts her, okay? It hurts that she can't see the world in that way, and that she takes it out on the only guy who has ever loved her.

"It's not my fault I can't be like you, okay? I don't get up in the morning thinking the world is one big, shiny, happy place! That's just not how I work." Lucy pauses, taking a deep breath before she continues, dropping her voice to a whisper. "_I don't think I can be fixed_."

"You can, Lucy, you can." Louis tells her. "But you've got to let me try."

(It's always at this point that she kicks him out. He tries to help and then he is gone. You do not offer to help Lucy Weasley—she does not want to be helped.)

She reverts to her usual tone. "Get out," she tells him. "Don't come back."

He sighs, knowing he is defeated for the night. He will not return tonight, perhaps he'll bunk with Albus, or James, if he's not busy with Jade or Jane or whatever her name is. The Potter boys were always the most supportive, for some reason.

Nobody else gives a shit about Lucy and Louis anymore. Well, maybe that's a lie. Molly cares, but both Lucy and Louis can see in her eyes that, deep down, she's disgusted by the two of them. Victoire is in Paris, pretending that she's not in love with her ex-Herbology teacher, and Dominique is off fucking some guy and pretending that it's Lysander. The parents are disapproving, and they try to be supportive, but they can't. What can you do when your kid falls in love with their cousin? How are you supposed to encourage them?

The others members of the family are either dead, or they do not care.

Louis thinks it's funny how quickly a family can fall apart.

.

She is a girl on fire, raging through the world, trying to pretend as though she's not fucking falling apart with every breath she takes, every jibe she sends Louis' way. Pretending will never change the fact that she's broken, almost beyond repair.

Louis tries to help her, he does, but she builds up walls to protect herself, and when the façade falls down he never knows just what to say, just what to do. That is why they end that way, with Lucy telling him in that cold voice to get out, and Louis too exhausted to argue anymore.

There is no smoke without a fire, and their arguments do not just mean nothing. There is always something there, something hidden. Those cracks in their foundations that they try to fix—but to no avail.

They are broken. Perhaps they will never mend.

Whispers spin round and round in Louis' head, and he tries to make head or tail of them. He can't, because all they say is _Louis_, over and over again, and he wants to know why, for Rowena's sake!

He can't figure it out. Maybe he never will.

.

Louis is woken by an owl tapping on Albus' window. He groans, rolling over to move the latch so the owl can get in, and he notes that it's Lucy's owl. The envelope bears the Slytherin crest on the back, and he manages a small smile. Old habits die hard—Lucy's never been able to get rid of the Slytherin seal. Louis often wonders if she clings on to her school days too much, clinging on to the Slytherin glory as she rose to the top, Chaser on the Slytherin team, slipping past Prefect and yet somehow landing Head Girl.

When she got Head Girl was when she began to fall apart. With Louis as Head Boy, maybe Seventh year was doomed to break her. Thinking back, Louis can't bring himself to regret it. The way he began to look at his once-best friend. The two of them bringing back their friendship, and then that fateful night; where it turned into something so much more.

He shudders to remember the day that they were found out. By Lysander Scamander—Lucy's boyfriend and no less. Perhaps Louis lost his Ravenclaw wisdom that year, or perhaps he was blinded wisdom it by the sight of someone he loved.

Because, no matter what he says, no matter how many times they fight, they throw around pitiful insults, he loves her, and she loves him. Often, it's just hard to remember that.

He opens the envelope, reading the note that seems to be hastily written in Lucy's scrawling handwriting. There is no apology, no sincere words, only two words that seem to pull at his heart. No fevered explaining, no proclamation of love could feel the same to Louis. It is always these two words that always bring him back to Lucy.

_Come back? _

He does.

.

Perhaps this is how they are meant to be. Maybe they shall always fight, cry, try to fix the other and then fall apart again. James and Albus will become accustomed to Louis sleeping on their sofa, and Lucy will get used to having a double bed to herself. Others say that it cannot be love, that something filled with so much hate and pain and loss could never be love, but Lucy and Louis disagree. It's the feelings filled with pain that bind them together, meaning that they can leave, they can break up, but there's always going to be the words that pull them back together.

Maybe, just maybe, one day they can be happy. Perhaps Louis will find that there is more to life than just an accident, and that there is a purpose. Lucy may find that she can be fixed, that she can believe in fairy tales, and marvel at the starlit nights.

Maybe one day, the whispers will not be filled with pain, and the nights filled with silent sobs.

(To Louis, it seems as though a lot is depending on just one 'maybe'.)

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authors note ii: please don't favourite without reviewing, thanks.


	2. sin

authors note: here is my second piece, this one is just a drabble with the prompt _sin. _It's incredibly short, but I hope you enjoy! :)

* * *

His touch is sin as his fingers glide all over her body, his lips pressing against hers. It's wrong, so wrong, and that is all that plays through her head as she's with him. Every moment that they are together is stolen away into the shadows, hoping that perhaps no one will find out, and _it's wrong_. Lucy knows that, Louis knows that. Neither of them have the strength to stop.

Yet, there's something more. Something inside the shadows that envelope them into darkness, or maybe it's in the streams of sunlight that break through. It's that something that manages to tear away the chorus of "It's wrong, it's wrong,", something that helps her forget that it's a sin.

One voice speaks clearer than the rest, stating two words that ring out into the void.

"It's right,"

Lucy smiles. She knows those words are true.

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authors note ii: please _don't _favourite/alert without reviewing. :)


	3. torn

For the prompt _torn_. This is a Louis/Lucy/Lorcan love triangle. :)

* * *

For anyone else, Lucy's choice should seem so easy. And, yet, it's not, because she's completely and utterly torn. _How can you love two people at the same time?_ Lucy asks herself, and yet there is no answer. If she knew the answer, she'd never have asked.

Sometimes she wonders if she really loves them both, or if she's just too afraid to let them go. Perhaps afraid isn't the right word—it's more that she doesn't want to let them go; she's much too selfish for that. How can you let go of two guys who are both so extraordinary?

Should she choose the man who should be right, or the man who _is_?

She's Lucy Weasley, and so she does what Lucy Weasley always does. She keeps them both, because she's so torn.

She's not proud, but she's not exactly stopping, and it all turns into a maze that she's gotten mixed up in. The only way out is to make a decision—something Lucy hasn't been able to do in a long time.

.

Lorcan has been hers almost as long as Lucy can remember—it's always been Lucy&Lorcan, since fifth year, and now she's twenty-one, and she's still his. They've been on and off, really, but she's always gone back to Lorcan in the end.

She loves him, doesn't she? She must love him, and yet she doesn't know, not after Louis comes into the picture.

And it's okay to fall in love with your best friend, but it's not okay to fall in love with your cousin, not anymore.

So she should choose Lorcan, right? He's been her best friend since First Year, his girlfriend since fifth. Louis is just her cousin, and that's all he should ever be.

But Lucy's always been someone to go after what she wants. She's not letting Louis out of her grasp that easily. She won't, she can't.

She doesn't.

.

"Louis, I told you, we can't tell anyone," she whispers between the sheets one night, as his protests of their secret rise once more.

His fingers tighten around her hand before he replies. "Lucy, I know that we'll be judged. But I don't want to keep this secret anymore,"

Lucy looks at him, sending volumes through one single glance. _We can't_, the pleading glance says, and yet there's something more than she doesn't let out. _I'm sleeping with Lorcan_, she silently tells him, _I think I love him too_. She's too much of a coward to say it aloud, and she's thankful that Louis decided to never learn to be a Leglimens.

"I'm sorry," Louis says coldly, before rising from the bed, shirtless. He leaves the room without casting a single look her way, and Lucy wonders whether it's a goodbye, or if he just wants some time.

Lucy lies there for a while, thinking of Louis and Lorcan, and wishing she could make a decision. She's torn, completely, utterly torn. It's Lucy&Louis and Lucy&Lorcan, and to be honest, she's not sure which she likes the best.

Anyone else would tell her to choose Lorcan. He's smart, a Ravenclaw, and so traditionally attractive. Yet Louis seems so perfect to her, with his delicately sculpted

face, and the constellations he weaves with words, and then Lucy realises.

She's not torn between Lorcan and Louis. She's thinking of what other people want. Of course Dominique wants Lucy to date Lorcan—double dates are so much easier with Lucy and Lorcan than Molly and Lorcan.

Lucy lies in bed for a few more moments. She wonders what Lorcan's reaction will be, but not for long. To be honest, she's more thinking about exactly how she's going to tell her father that she's in love with her cousin.

.

"I love you," Lucy whispers, and Louis smiles.

"Love you too, Luce,"

Lucy wonders how she could have ever agonised over such an easy decision.

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	4. breathless

- for the prompt 'breathless'

* * *

She is dying.

Nobody can save her.

.

He remembers when he first realised that he loved Lucy. She was sitting on the beach at Shell Cottage, after running out from a family dinner, when a few comments went too far. Her knees were tucked under her chin, and her arms were wrapped around herself. In the wind, her hair blew into her face, and every now and then she'd raise her hand to brush it out of her eyes. The evening sun coloured the sea, and sparkles would fly across the ocean.

Before, Louis always stared at the ocean, claiming that there was nothing else but the ocean for him. On that day, he hardly saw the ocean. He only saw Lucy. The wonder of her in the late night air was everything to him.

In that moment, their shared last name didn't matter, no. The only thing that mattered was her, only her.

He was breathless.

.

A curse hit her, a slower version of the Killing Curse that had never been seen before, and Louis holds Lucy as she dies, hidden behind a broken shed.

"I can't breathe," she whispers.

Louis holds back his tears. "_Try_," he replies, "for me?"

.

He remembers when Lucy first kissed him. On top of the Astronomy Tower, with the wind blowing in their face, and the dark night not enclosing them, merely protecting them, she spoke three words.

"I love you,"

He was shocked at the Slytherin's display of affection, but he was even more shocked when she planted a kiss on his lips, and then got up and left.

"Night, Louis,"

She left him breathless.

.

"Keep breathing," Louis tells her, "the Healers will be here soon, they'll make you better,"

Lucy looks up at him, and from one look, Louis knows. Louis knows that she is dying and Lucy knows that.

"I'm sorry," Lucy says.

"For what?" Louis replies; racking his brains for anything Lucy should be sorry for.

Lucy pauses, trying to take in some air. "Dying,"

.

He remembers when they first told their parents.

"Thing is, Dad, Fleur, Bill. I'm in love with Louis."

Louis can still picture their shocked expressions as they froze, looking at the two of them. Lucy reached across and took his hand, and held it tight, throughout all the shouting, the debates.

Louis tried to stand up for him and Lucy, but he couldn't get a word in edgeways.

Besides, she had made him breathless.

.

"Don't be sorry," Louis tells her. "You can't help that…"

"That I'm dying? Lucy replies. "I know. I just… I don't want to leave you alone."

Louis pretends that he's not seconds away from crying. "I don't want to leave you alone either,"

.

He remembers when Lucy told him they were both joining the Auror force.

"Lucy, it's dangerous," he'd told her. "We could get hurt, we could die."

"Shush," Lucy quieted him. "Life without danger is no fun."

Then she kissed him, and he lost himself in her, and he agreed to joining. He could barely say his name as they joined.

He was breathless.

.

"Louis," her voice becomes more panicked, more afraid. "Louis I can't…"

He reaches down to her, and presses his lips to her in one last kiss. It's panicked, rushed, and yet it's full of everything that both of them need.

"I'm so sorry," Louis says. "I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Lucy replies, "You gave me everything."

They stay in silence for a moment, ducked behind the old shed, and it strikes Louis how it's such a bad place for Lucy to die, a place that such a wonderful person should not have to die. Then again, now the wizards they were hunting are long gone—it's just the two of them, Lucy and Louis, together and maybe that's the best way Lucy could die.

"I can't breathe," Lucy says again, "I can't…"

"Don't," Louis tells her. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but don't."

She smiles at him, and mouths two words—'thank you'—and then her eyes close. Her hand squeezes tighter around his and then, in a second, it loosens, and drops to the ground.

She is Lucy Weasley and she has made him breathless more times than he can remember. She is Lucy Weasley, and she is lying on the floor, with no marks that anything might have hurt her, but she is now breathless.

Louis knows she will not breathe again.

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depressing, i know D:

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